I SHOULD WRITE A BOOK

I have decided that I think I should write a book about my life. It sure would be interesting.

Anyway, so my wonderful dad called me last week while I was in Bentonville. He found out through other family members that I was having surgery. I wanted to tell him myself but that didn't happen. My family members love to start trouble within the family. He said he would love to come and be with me during my surgery. My first thought was yeah right, you're just wanting to make yourself look good and start arguments with mom. My thinking was right.

We spent 10 minutes on the phone. He asked me where I was having it and I said Baltimore. He asked me where Baltimore was and I told him in Maryland. Then he asked me where Maryland was. At that point I wanted to tell him to get a map and look himself but I figured I would be nice. So I told him it was on the eastern sea board. He said, "Close to Ohio?" Uhh, no! I said Do you know where Washington D.C. is. He said yes. So I told him it was about 1 hour northeast from DC. Finally, he knew where it was at. I still didn't think he was serious. I knew he wanted me to tell him not to come so he could say Oh Whoa is me. I'm the hated one. So I got an email from him that night. He just wanted to confirm the date of my surgery and asked "Where again in PA is it?" 10 minutes on the phone trying to tell him where it was and he still didn't listen. Wouldn't a father really be concerned?

He proceeded to email me every day from last week until yesterday. Really wanting me to tell him what to do. He was telling me that he wanted me to have the surgery when I was little but my horrible mom wouldn't let me. He never even went to any of my doctors appts, EVER. So how would he even know what the doctors said?

Anyway, so I was talking to a friend whose name shall remain nameless since I'm blogging this. She came to the same conclusion that I did. He wants me to tell him not to come so he can make me look like the bad guy. So, I sent him an email:.

"Sorry it's taken me so long to write back. I have been working on our kitchen remodel so I haven't had time to check my emails. I appreciate you wanting to come visiti during my surgery and I want to discuss with you some of my concerns regarding your coming for a visit. First of all, I will be having major surgery. The idea of having major surgery is scary for me, but I need it done, so I have to deal with how I am feeling about it and move forward and have the surgery. I'm having breathing problems and other complications because of my condition and the sooner I get the surgery done the better I am going to feel. This whole thing is very stressful for me and I want to avoid having any more stress than I'm already feeling about having the surgery. Because there is usually tension between you and Mom, I think having you two here visiting at the same time would add to my stress. My doctor wants me to avoid stress as much as possible before, during and after my surgery. If you and Mom don't get along, that will be extremely stressful for me. So, here is what I would like to do and you can think about it and let me know what you would like to do.
Mom has already arranged to take off work in order to be at John Hopkins when I have my surgery. She will be staying from July 12th and will be leaving on July 27th. So if you would like to come after she leaves, I am good with that. You could help take care of me and that way Jason could go back to work. How does that sound to you?
The dogs can be noisy and annoying, so you might want to get a hotel while you are with us in Pa. and you can get a good night's sleep and then come to my house each morning to help me. So, please give this some thought and then let me know what you want to do.

Hope all is well with you.
Tonya

The response I got today was expected
" Well can respect your wish so when you have surgery wont be there promise....but can least let me know how it goes if not to much trouble would appreciate that thx...I will not be available during that time frame"

Whoa is me. Of course he's wanting me to feel sorry for him but I do not. If he would have been a better dad growing up and would not have abandoned us like he did maybe I would feel sorry for him. Maybe if he would have helped us out when we couldn't even afford to get groceries instead of bragging about all the homes, new cars, money, etc he had...Maybe I would have sympathy but I don't.

Sorry for all the anger. Sometimes it's better for me to write and get it all out. Ahh, I think it's time to visit the therapist again!